The lessons Mako learns
by Kandros Fir
Summary: We are the sum of our experiences. Too bad Mako has never been good at arithmetic.


A/N: My submission for Valentine. I know it seems like everyone and their mothers are doing Mako breakup fics, but I felt the need to tell this one.

"She was the kind of girlfriend God gives you young, so you'll know loss the rest of your life." The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

1st experience. They no longer talk anymore. Instead, at their meals together, the silence is his conversation partner.

"You cheated on her. She's such an amazing girl. She's sweet, she's kind, she's spirited, what more can you want? Why do you sabotage your chance at happiness?"

He cannot answer that question to himself, because it would require exploring places of himself he wasn't ready to see, and any answer undertaken without that soul searching would ring hollow to himself.

He knows he can't keep doing this to Asami, but she keeps letting him, and he wishes she wouldn't so that his self-destruction won't harm anyone else.

2nd experience. They finally break up. It is inevitable and they have both have seen it coming for a long time. And though Mako sheds no tears, he can feel Asami walk off with a piece of him. It is the piece of him that is trying to be the perfect boyfriend with the perfect life. He knows that this is why he and Asami could never last. Because his relationship with her was built around his need to be perfect, and he cannot sustain that. He only wishes he knew this before he fell in love, and not after the feeling has faded, before he hurt Asami, before he hurt Korra, before he hurt Bolin and before he hurt himself. But then again pain is what makes some lessons so valuable.

3rd experience. Dating Korra is nothing like dating Asami. Asami is soft like the silk that makes up her pillow (He knows after having slept over at her house once), and smells as sweet as jasmine. There is nothing soft about Korra. She is the blade of a knife, and she smells of sweat and smoke. She is danger, and he follows her maybe because he is a masochist, and also maybe because he loves the fact that they don't make sense. Her aggression speaks to his, and he thinks he knows her. They are both carrying heavy burdens to be the altars upon which they sacrifice themselves.

4th experience. His break up with Korra is also nothing like his breakup with Asami. His break up with Asami was like drinking poison, slow and inevitable; his break up with Korra is an amputation, quick and not his choice. Korra extracts the piece of him that wants to be a hero. Mako realizes that he is not a hero. He is an officer and he cannot change the hearts of the sister tribes.

5th experience. his break up with Korra, he and Asami begin to gravitate towards each other like heavenly bodies influenced by each other's gravity. Mako believes he has learned his lessons. He has no expectations of perfection this time. Their relationship is messy and fragile as a butterfly's wings. No wonder he ends up tearing it. Mako has never been good with fragile things.

6th experience. He lies to Korra about the breakup, and then he lies to himself. He's gotten so good at it that it's discomfiting. She brings out the worst in him, and he cannot let go, because he believes that means it's love.

7th experience. He ends his relationship with Korra once again and he cannot help but wonder at this point if there was something deeply wrong with him. He has had lost two incredible women twice. This time they take the piece of Mako that tries to justify his actions to himself. He can now take a good long look at himself and see his cruelty crystal clear. It is then he learns, truly learns who he is. It's a good start to becoming who he wants to be.

8th experience. He watches Korra and Asami step into the portal together with a smile. He is genuinely happy for them, and there is pride in there too, because in these two women he has lost more than most people will ever have in a life time.

The sum of Mako: He believes now that from Korra he has learned what it means to be a hero and from Asami he has learned a little something about expectations. He holds no regrets and no guilt. He has been lucky to have them as teachers, but he believes he has taught them something too. His debts are paid. He can stumble on to the future without shame. He knows there are many who would judge him harshly for his decisions, but they have not lived the life he has, so their judgement mean nothing to him. He is Mako and he is happy with that.

A/N: I really liked the ending to Korra, but I hated the way Mako was portrayed. Rather than seeming like a tribute to Mako, who played Iroh the uncle I've always wanted, it seemed to be a mockery of him. This is my attempt to make the character seem more likable. I know I should be working on Home Coming, but honestly, no one cares for that so I'm losing some motivation.


End file.
